No actual Leap Day content?
2
By MeridianOfTime
February 29th, 2020.
You’re sitting in the cold basement, in desperate need of a mental escape from your unpleasant circumstances, wondering what entertainment the great Leap Day deities will provide. Will it be a typical platformer challenger? Or will it be something special, given that today is, in fact, Leap Day?
Upon opening the app, you are immediately greeted by the king, who has sat at the throne at the beginning of every climb you’ve done every day before this. And, after some dialogue, the king begins attacking you directly! You scale a pretty traditional Leap Day level, but with a perfectly designed super boss chasing you the entire time. And at the very top? You battle and defeat the king. You bring peace to the Leap Day kingdom from the confines of your cold, empty basement. And you’re full of joy.
Four years pass. Every level for every day after this is adorned with several missing king posters, a neon “coming soon” sign advertising future content, a fake king made of the fruit collected by our hero, and the real king trying to reclaim his throne. You spend the next four years not only trying to escape the basement, but also trying to learn more about the Leap Day future. What’s going to happen to the king? What’s coming soon?!
As the four years pass with no major updates, you begin to expect that the next massive Leap Day update will take place, fittingly, on Leap Day 2024. Well, Leap Day 2024 rolls around. You’ve escaped the basement, but were caught and are now locked in the attic. You take out your iPhone and, placing full faith in the Leap Day deities, open the game. It opens on a hot air balloon themed level, much like the 2020 level, but there’s no dialogue from the King.
In fact…nothing’s different! The posters, the fruit king, the neon sign…everything is exactly the same as it’s been for four years! You play through the entire level, expecting to be greeted by the missing king at some point. But each checkpoint passes uneventfully. At the final stage, it’s one of the easiest final stages found in the game’s history. And you finish the level, with no fanfare and no special Leap Day content ON Leap Day.
This is outrageous! 2020’s Leap Day level was pure magic! The anticipation building up to the day’s level was unreal, and it delivered in every way imaginable. Even now, four years later, you remember vividly the adrenaline and thrill you felt while running through that level. But now, all you’ve been given for this year’s Leap Day is any old hot air balloon level? One of the clunkier themes overall, to add insult to injury. You’re disgusted, perturbed, and frankly bothered.
Well, you declare war on the Leap Day deities. You rate the game with two stars instead of the five you initially planned on giving it (it’s still a fantastic game in every sense, but this atrocity has left you battered and scarred). You vow that if they do not put together a remarkably special celebration for Leap Day 2028, you will overthrow their reign and enact your vengeance.
Little did you know, you were locked in the Leap Day deities’ house this whole time…
